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How to Get More Matches on Dating Apps, According to Psychologists

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Anyone who’s spent time on dating apps has seen the same profile over and over again. Okay, so they like tacos and “good banter,” but who the hell are you? Psychologists say the profiles that work best give people an actual sense of that.

According to a new study in Psychology of Popular Media, researchers at Reichman University found that people were more drawn to dating profiles written in a narrative style than profiles that presented the same person in a generalized, list-style format. The research included three experiments with 594 participants, and across those studies, story-driven profiles were found to be the most intriguing. 

That feels about right after you’ve scrolled through dozens of profiles and not one of them has grabbed your attention. A lot of profiles are technically fine. They’re polished, they hit the expected notes, they mention the dog, the travel, the espresso martinis, the prompt about being able to quote The Office on command. But they don’t leave much of an impression because they don’t create a person. They just create a summary. The researchers argue that storytelling helps readers imagine what it might actually feel like to know, or date, the person behind the profile.

Your Dating App Profile Should Tell a Story

Study author Gurit Birnbaum told Newsweek. “We are fascinated by stories, yet we write our dating profiles like shopping lists,” she said. “It’s not height or ambition that makes someone fall for you, it’s your entire story. But people can’t feel that from bullet points.” That’s the whole problem with app dating. People keep trying to optimize themselves into desirability when what actually pulls someone in is specificity, texture, a little glimpse of a life.

The point is to write like a human being with a point of view. Instead of listing that you love music, say something about the first concert that rewired your brain. Instead of announcing that you’re adventurous, mention the trip that went sideways and why you still laugh about it. 

Birnbaum also said storytelling can “counter the objectifying nature of online dating platforms” by helping people see each other as human beings instead of commodities. That’s probably the biggest thing to learn here. People are over the filler and overused lines. We want substance and character. 

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