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Are Humans Wired to Cheat? Americans Have Strong Opinions.

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Monogamy is a topic people talk about like it’s either a sacred truth or a scam invented by the wedding industry. There’s rarely much room in the middle. Most people have some personal theory about it, usually built from a mix of religion, heartbreak, biology, denial, and whatever they watched implode in their parents’ marriage.

A new YouGov survey suggests Americans are pretty split on whether humans are wired for monogamy, though not by a landslide by any means. Only about one-third of Americans think most, or all, humans are monogamous by nature. More specifically, 7 percent said all humans are monogamous by nature, and 24 percent said most are. Another 16 percent said about half are, while 12 percent said most humans are not monogamous by nature, and 8 percent said all humans are not.

Which feels about right, honestly. People love certainty on sex and relationships, but actual human behavior always has to enter the chat. Then everything quickly gets complicated, and the grand theory doesn’t seem to be on solid footing. 

Of course, there’s always a gender split. Americans were more likely to say women are naturally monogamous than men. Thirty percent said most women are monogamous by nature, compared with 17 percent who said the same about men. Meanwhile, 18 percent said most men are not monogamous by nature, versus eight percent who said that about women. In other words, people are still working from the very old idea that women are the loyal ones and men are the wandering disaster.

Politics also sways views about one-person committed relationships. Republicans were more likely than Democrats to say that all or most humans are monogamous by nature, at 44 percent versus 27 percent. Americans 65 and older were also more likely than younger adults to believe people are monogamous by nature, at 39 percent to 29 percent.

It goes to show that this question about monogamy isn’t as black and white as people would like. People aren’t answering from some sterile science lab. They’re answering from inside their values, their age, their disappointments, and the stories they grew up hearing about what love is supposed to look like.

The survey also asked about people’s actual dating histories, which are far more varied than the culture-war version of romance tends to admit. Seventy percent of Americans said they’ve been in a relationship with someone of a different gender. About half said they’ve dated someone at least five years older or younger, and nearly half said they’ve been with someone much more or less educated. Smaller shares said they’ve dated across race, religion, wealth, or party lines.

So, are humans monogamous by nature? Americans don’t sound wildly convinced. 

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