menu_open Columnists
We use cookies to provide some features and experiences in QOSHE

More information  .  Close

5 Signs Your Marriage Is Turning Into More of a Roommate Situation

10 0
11.09.2026

Get unlimited access to everything VICE has to offer.

Turn off all ads on VICE.com

Exclusive New VICE Documentaries

Member Exclusive Features & Columns

Turn off all ads on VICE.com

Exclusive New VICE Documentaries

Member Exclusive Features & Columns

Turn off all ads on VICE.com

Exclusive New VICE Documentaries

Member Exclusive Features & Columns

4 Magazines Delivered to Your Door

5 Signs Your Marriage Is Turning Into More of a Roommate Situation

Experts say shorter conversations, constant busyness, less affection, and stonewalling can all signal growing emotional distance.

Share on X (Opens in new window)X

Share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Facebook

Share using Native toolsShareCopied to clipboard

Most marriages don’t fall apart all at once. It usually starts with smaller things that are easy to explain away. You talk less. Touch less. Plans get made around each other instead of together. For a while, it can look like stress, work, kids, or one bad month. Then you realize you’ve been living with someone who’s been mentally gone for a while.

Figs O’Sullivan, a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Empathi, points to the pursue-withdraw cycle as one of the strongest predictors of relationship dissatisfaction and divorce. One person keeps reaching for connection while the other pulls farther away. From inside the marriage, it can take a while to even see that’s what’s happening.

1. He’s Physically There but Mentally Somewhere Else

Family law attorney Anna Blood told Scary Mommy that an early sign is when “connection gives way to coexistence.” You still talk, but it’s mostly about the logistics of the day: who’s driving where, what’s........

© Vice