On the surface, Harper Steele and I are very different. I love musical theater and bubble tea; she loves dive bars and stock car racing. She grew up in Iowa, while I’ve lived my whole life in New Jersey. I transitioned as a young person with my parents as my biggest supporters, while Harper came out at 61 navigating this journey as an adult without a guide. Yet we have two very important things in common: we are both deeply loved, and we both simply want to live our lives.

In 2017, I went viral as a ten-year-old little girl in a neon pink coat, magenta hair braided into pigtails, holding a thick poster board that read, “I’m the scary transgender person the media warned you about.” I spoke to a crowd of 200 in the streets of Jersey City that day in response to the federal administration rescinding the guidance for transgender students in schools.

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