If you are a psychologically healthy person, it’s easy to fall victim to a narcissist or manipulator because you’re not assuming that other people are playing games with you. You just go along to get along. But if you’re in a relationship with a manipulator, they could be playing a long game that slowly unfolds until the moment you realize that you are in an unhealthy relationship. Hopefully, that time comes sooner rather than later. Some people have relationships that last for decades before they realize they have been manipulated.

A popular TikTok user named @Mewmewsha, who refers to herself as "Older Sister," is going viral for a video where she makes it easy to understand the tactics that a manipulator or narcissist may use to control you. She presents it in an easy-to-comprehend anagram—CREEP—which outlines the stages of manipulation, and she also shares her methods for countering each stage. CREEP stands for charm, rage, envy, entitlement, and pity.

“Everyone who's ever manipulated you was following a playbook, and I'm gonna teach it to you so you can recognize when it's happening to you. Cause if you don't learn the game, you'll keep getting played,” she opens her video.

Learn the game so you stop getting played - here’s how to outsmart manipulators and covert narcissists by learning their playbook

“They will act like your soulmate or best friend. They'll flatter you, mirror you, they'll use your language, they'll adopt your mannerisms, and you'll feel so seen and understood. And it is very intoxicating and very deliberate. They are building emotional leverage, they're collecting data. Charm is the bait. And once you're hooked, it only gets worse.”

Counter: “Slow down, because if it's genuine, that charm will last. But if it's fake, soon enough, when charm doesn't get them what they want, you will meet rage.”

“Rage can be loud, but it can also be quiet. It's not always explosive. It can be cold and cruel, stonewalling, contempt, a sudden withdrawal of love and attention. …It's designed to confuse you and guilt you and make you think you need to fix something because you wanna go back to the charming person that was just there a second ago.”

Counter: “You need to detach emotionally, give them nothing, absorb nothing. And the moment you can, you need to leave.”

“Narcissists hate it when you're happy, successful, and independent because it makes you harder to control. Envy will show its face in subtle sabotage. They'll be trying to undermine your achievements. They'll constantly be trying to humble you.”

Counter: Share less, move in silence. The more they know, the more they’ll sabotage you.

A narcissistic woman.via Canva/Photos

“Since they feel like they own you, they expect access to you, your time, and your energy always.”

Counter: Set boundaries.

“When all else fails, they'll act like the victim. They will use your empathy against you. They'll weaponize sadness. They'll cry. They'll act helpless and defenseless. They'll dredge up some old trauma. They will make themselves the victim so they can guilt you into compliance.”

Counter: “Be kind, not nice. Being nice puts you at risk. It makes you feel responsible and self-sacrificial. But when you are kind, it means you have compassion with boundaries.”

It’s worth noting that @mewmewsha isn’t a licensed therapist, so when it comes to mental health issues, it's best to consult a professional. However, her advice does mirror a lot of the standard wisdom surrounding narcissists and manipulators. An article reviewed by Yolanda Renteria, LPC, notes that narcissists have an abuse cycle that repeats itself: “It involves first idealizing a person, then devaluing them, repeating the cycle, and eventually discarding them when they are of no further use.”

We should also be careful not to assume that when someone we know starts acting enviously or entitled, it necessarily means they are a narcissist. It could just be part of normal behavior and emotions. We all have our bad days and personality quirks. So, the counters mentioned above are a great way to tackle everyday interactions with friends, family members, and coworkers when they take a turn for the negative. But when their behaviors start to fit the classic narcissistic and manipulative narrative, then it’s time to be concerned and to question their motivation.

They say New York City is the City of Dreams. Young people all over the world flock to the city when they're ready to start chasing after their biggest ambitions. If you have a passion for theater, television, or the arts, there's no better place to be. Want to become a successful and prestigious stock broker, lawyer, or investment banker? It's all New York, baby. It's a city of immense opportunity and tough competition, but that's what makes it full of life and culture for those who choose to live there.

But all of that doesn't come cheap. The average rent in New York for even just a small, studio apartment is $3,264 per month. That buys you less than 500 square feet. And, even though it seems like you're really pinching pennies by living somewhere so cramped, that price tag is enormous! Even if you account for the higher-than-average salaries in New York.

Most young people just getting started in their careers can't afford that. Not to mention, the competition for good-quality apartments in New York is cutthroat. Still, people are desperate to live there by any means necessary, which has given rise to some really fascinating (and, in some cases, slightly horrifying) micro apartments.

In 2023, one woman went viral for showing off her New York micro apartment. It clocks in at just 80 square feet and cost her, at the time, a meager $650 per month.

If you like spending all your money on rent, New York is awesome! Giphy

YouTuber Caleb Simpson interviewed the woman, Alaina, for his channel that specializes in featuring interesting and unique living spaces. Alaina's apartment definitely qualifies, though technically the square footage is 80x150, because she's including the vertical space. Every square inch counts!

"So really it just feels like a walk-in closet," Simpson remarks upon entering through the front door.

Alaina shows Simpson around the apartment, which includes a tiny living room slash kitchen area with a mini-fridge, a small sink, and a small stove and microwave. In the main living area, she's placed a fold-out sofa........

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