Caregiving is a female-dominated field, and that’s not just in the professional world. It’s estimated that approximately 66% of informal family caregiving is done by women, so it’s not often that men are seen as caregivers. One man aims to change that by sharing his caregiving journey on social media.

Chris Punsalan was the primary caregiver for his elderly grandmother before her death. He uses his platform to normalize men being in the role of caregivers, but recently, he received some unexpected backlash. Several months ago, the Millennial shared a video of himself caring for his grandmother as usual, but this time it showed him hopping in the shower with her.

There was nothing inappropriate to be viewed in the video, as the grandmother was already behind the privacy glass. Punsalan was wearing black shorts when he got into the shower to help his grandmother. Seeing this vulnerable reality of caregiving for an elderly relative set some people off. The content creator received several comments chastising him, and others implying that he had an inappropriate relationship with his grandmother.

Caregiving for an elderly relative can be a difficult task, especially when you’re their primary caregiver. As people age, they need more assistance with daily living activities like bathing, toileting, and eating. This is not uncommon, but caregiving for these family members is often done quietly. Those who can afford full-time professional caregivers or an assisted living facility pay for this type of care. But every family isn’t in that position, so they may divide caregiving duties among themselves.

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It’s unclear why Punsalan started caring for his grandmother, but it’s evident that he wanted to ensure she was receiving the best care. He is tackling stigma and showing men in a more gentle light. So when he saw the negative comments questioning his actions, he decided to address them directly.

In the video, he shows a clip from the previous video of him getting in the shower to help his grandmother.

“Most people have never seen what actual caregiving looks like, and I didn’t either when I first started,” he says. “I was my grandmother’s full-time caregiver. She had osteoporosis, severe arthritis, and in the last couple of years of her life, she had dementia, so I helped her with almost everything. Taking a shower, helping her eat meals, use the restroom, get around the house.”

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He further explains that there was no manual on caring for his grandma, nor did he receive professional training. The process was trial and error while making sure his grandmother was safe and cared for.

“It was really weird to help my grandmother shower, but you eventually get over it,” Punsalan says. “If I had just seen another person on the Internet that looked like me, a young male helping ‘the old woman’ when it was time for me to step up and do that for my grandmother, it would’ve been so much easier.”

He shared that he hopes continuing to post these videos will shed light on what to expect for others who may find themselves in a similar role. Punsalan’s message resonated with viewers, many of whom flocked to the comments to show their support.

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One person says, “Bathing is all part of caregiving. We are all humans. We all have human parts. Get over it. It’s what nurses would do if you were in the hospital. People that say these things just have no concept and if the roles were reversed they’d get it.”

Another writes, “I bathe and care for my disabled brother. He’s only two years younger than me but has used diapers all his life as well. Thank you for sharing your experience and educating people about this line of work. People make situations weird because THEIR mind is in the gutter.”

Someone else shares, “Your grandmother was so lucky to have you there. There are lots of initially uncomfortable tasks (especially as a grandkid) that you grow accustomed to as a caregiver that often illicit judgment from people on the outside who possess very little understanding of the big difficulties involved in all of the little tasks, and even more so with a dementia patient! The way you use your platform is so helpful. Not only as a comfort to fellow caregivers, but also as an awareness guide to so many. Keep up the great work!”

“Before caregiving you really don’t know what you are getting yourself into but gradually you are doing all the things that your loved one can’t do for themselves because you love them and honor them and respect them,” one commenter writes. “Duties are endless and yes very personal and intimate. We love them so we do it and we also get used to it and want to keep them clean and comfortable.”

Though Punsalan’s grandmother has since passed, he continues to share videos to guide others. After caring for his grandmother for eight years, he shares that he felt lost, so he now dedicates his time to Tendercare as their creative director. The company helps connect caregivers with trusted professionals, furthering Punsalan’s goal of helping caregivers feel less alone.

Music, community and joy drive real change

In a small village in Pwani, a district on Tanzania’s coast, a massive dance party is coming to a close. For the past two hours, locals have paraded through the village streets, singing and beating ngombe drums; now, in a large clearing, a woman named Sheilla motions for everyone to sit facing a large projector screen. A film premiere is about to begin. 

It’s an unusual way to kick off a film about gender bias, inequality, early marriage, and other barriers that prevent girls from accessing education in Tanzania. But in Pwani and beyond, local organizations supported by Malala Fund and funded by Pura are finding creative, culturally relevant ways like this one to capture people’s interest. 

The film ends and Sheilla, the Communications and Partnership Lead for Media for Development and Advocacy (MEDEA), stands in front of the crowd once again, asking the audience to reflect: What did you think about the film? How did it relate to your own experience? What can we learn? 

Sheilla explains that, once the community sees the film, “It brings out conversations within themselves, reflective conversations.” The resonance and immediate action create a ripple effect of change.

Across Tanzania, gender-based violence often forces adolescent girls out of the classroom. This and other barriers — including child marriage, poverty, conflict, and discrimination — prevent girls from completing their education around the world. 

Sheilla and her team are using film and radio programs to address the challenges girls face in their communities. MEDEA’s ultimate goal is to affirm education as a fundamental right for everyone, and to ensure that every member of a community understands how girls’ education contributes to a stronger whole and how to be an ally for their sisters, daughters, granddaughters, friends, nieces, and girlfriends. 

Sheilla’s story is one of many that inspired Heart on Fire, a new fragrance from the Pura x Malala Fund Collection that blends the warm, earthy spices of Tanzania with a playful, joyful twist. Here’s how Pura is using scent as a tool to connect the world and inspire action.

A partnership focused on local impact, on a global mission

Pura, a fragrance company that recognizes education as both freedom and a human right, has partnered with Malala Fund since 2022. In order to defend every girl’s right to access and complete 12 years of education, Malala Fund partners with local organizations in countries where the educational barriers are the greatest. They invest in locally-led solutions because they know that those who are closest to the problems are best equipped to solve and build durable solutions, like MEDEA, which works with communities to challenge discrimination against girls and change beliefs about their education. 

But local initiatives can thrive and scale more powerfully with global support, which is why Pura is using their own superpower, the power of scent, to connect people around the world with the women and girls in these local communities. 

The Pura x Malala Fund Collection incorporates ingredients naturally found in Tanzania, Nigeria, Pakistan, and Brazil: countries where Malala Fund operates to address systemic education barriers. Eight percent of net revenue from the Pura x Malala Fund Collection will be donated to Malala Fund directly, but beyond financial support, the Collection is also a love letter to each unique community, blending notes like lemon, jasmine, cedarwood, and clove to transport people, ignite their senses, and help them draw inspiration and hope from the global movement for girls’ education. Through scent, people can connect to the courage, joy, and tenacity of girls and local leaders, all while uniting in a shared commitment to education: the belief that supporting girls’ rights in one community benefits all of us, everywhere. 

You’ve already met Sheilla. Now see how Naiara and Mama Habiba are building unique solutions to ensure every girl can learn freely and dare to dream.

Naiara Leite is reimagining what’s possible in Brazil

In Brazil, where pear trees and coconut plantations cover the Northeastern Coast, girls like ten-year-old Julia experience a different kind of educational barrier than girls in Tanzania. Too often, racial discrimination contributes to high dropout rates among Black, quilombola and Indigenous girls in the country. 

“In the logic of Brazilian society, Black people don’t need to study,” says Naiara Leite, Executive Coordinator of Odara, a women-led organization and Malala Fund partner. Bahia, the state where Odara is based, was once one of the largest slave-receiving territories in the Americas, and because of that history, deeply-ingrained, anti-Black prejudice is still widespread. “Our role and the image constructed around us is one of manual labor,” Naiara says. 

But education can change that. In 2020, with assistance from a Malala Fund grant, Odara launched its first initiative for improving school completion rates among Black, quilombola, and Indigenous girls: “Ayomidê Odara”. The young girls mentored under the program, including Julia, are known as the Ayomidês. And like the Pura x Malala Fund Collection’s Brazil: Breath of Courage scent, the Ayomidês are fierce, determined, and bursting with energy.

Ayomidês take part in weekly educational sessions where they explore subjects like education and ethnic-racial relations. The girls are encouraged to find their own voices by producing Instagram lives, social media videos, and by participating in public panels. Already, the Ayomidês are rewriting the narrative on what’s possible for Afro-Brazilian girls to achieve. One of the earliest Ayomidês, a young woman named Debora, is now a communications intern. Another former Ayomidê, Francine, works at UNICEF, helping train the next generation of adolescent leaders. And Julia has already set her sights on becoming a math teacher or a model. 

“These are generations of Black women who did not have access to a school,” Naiara says. “These are generations of Black women robbed daily of their dreams. And we’re telling them that they could be the generation in their family to write a new story.” 

Mama Habiba is reframing the conversation in Nigeria 

In Mama Habiba’s home country of Nigeria, the scents of starfruit, ylang ylang and pineapple, all incorporated into the Pura x Malala Collection’s “Nigeria: Hope for Tomorrow,” can be found throughout the vibrant markets. Like these native scents, Mama Habiba says that the Nigerian girls are also bright and passionate, but too often they are forced to leave school long before their potential fully blooms. 

​​“Some of these schools are very far, and there is an issue of quality, too,” Mama Habiba says. “Most parents find out when their children are in school, the girls are not learning. So why allow them to continue?” 

When girls........

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