Like many Canadians, my genetic heritage is a Hungarian goulash of races and cultures, but not actually from Hungary.

According to my mother, I am half Czech, one quarter Norwegian and one quarter “mind your own beeswax.”

Canada is an immigrant nation and the way we mix and blend ethnicities is a strength, as well as an endless source of restaurants.

Also, I appreciate having such a good excuse for presenting as a nearsighted bald pear who is not very good at remembering details: It’s in my DNA.

Sometimes ancestral DNA combines to produce a Chris Evans, and sometimes a Chris Christie. In this example, I am Boris Karloff. I know he isn’t in this example, but trust me, that’s how DNA works: Phenotypically speaking, some of us are the dog, some of us are the fire hydrant.

Regardless of racial and cultural heritage, everybody is disappointed about something in the bathroom mirror. At this time of year, most of us are disappointed in not being more Irish. Why else would you be thinking about a pint of Guinness right now?

Fortunately, every March 17, we have an official day for pretending to be more Irish than we really are. Saint Patrick’s Day is celebrated in more countries than any other national holiday, apart from Black Friday and Cyber Monday, obviously.

In the Irish........

© Times Colonist