IS IT POSSIBLE to achieve the results you want by being passive aggressive? Furthermore, can engaging in such behaviour ever be considered a good thing?

I typed those questions into Google recently only to be told, in nice big red font, that negative emotions are normal, but expressing them through passive aggressive behaviour or actions was not. It is also harmful and unhealthy. Being “pass agg” may “feel good in the moment” but can be “harmful to relationships” and “prevent addressing underlying issues.” Apparently, “it is better to openly and honestly communicate feelings instead of resorting to passive-aggressive tactics.”

Whatever Google. I was just asking!

The Oxford English Dictionary defines it as “showing indirect resistance to the demands of others and avoidance of direct confrontation”.

Does that sound like Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada to you?

Me neither. Yet Meryl Streep’s character, a formidable and powerful editor-in-chief of a fashion magazine, uses passive aggressive remarks to assert dominance over Andy, her assistant, thus creating a tense toxic environment.

There are numerous ways to be passive aggressive towards someone. Strategies utilised to express negative emotions indirectly, they can show up through verbal, non-verbal and evasive conduct.

An example of such is ghosting; abruptly cutting off all contact with someone without warning or explanation. As is saying “I’m sorry if I upset you”, whilst knowing your actions were very definitely confronting.

“I’m only joking”, “you’re too sensitive” or “I didn’t think you’d understand” are other prime examples of being avoidant or insincere with an apology. Recording on your phone if the conversation or complaint isn’t going the way you want it to is another excellent illustration.

If you feel like going full on antagonistic, a simple “k” or “whatever” will........

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