20 “Chen and Now: Forbidden Praise and Esav’s Paradox”

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph rules that it is forbidden to praise an idolatrous gentile:

“You should not show them chen” (Devarim 7:2), which is understood as meaning: You should not give them favor (chen) by praising them.

Presumably, this prohibition against praising them applies even if they are truly deserving of praise—perhaps especially so—because it could lead to being influenced or enthralled by their religion and character.

Peri Tzaddik (Kedoshim 3) asks: If we are not allowed to praise idolaters, how did the sages allow themselves to admire Esav’s kibbud av (honoring parents) for Yitzchok? Bereishis Rabbah (63:16) reports:

“Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel said: I attended my father all my days, and I did not attend him one one-hundredth of what Esav attended his father.”

Peri Tzaddik attempts to resolve this by reframing Rabban Gamliel’s praise as, in fact, a subtle critique. Essentially, he describes Esav’s honor for his father as stemming from hedonic impulses. Esav focused on and lusted after the physical pleasures of this world, and therefore was genuinely filled with gratitude to his parents for bringing him into the world. According to this view, this is not particularly praiseworthy. The Jewish ideal of honoring parents is based on a recognition of the hierarchical chain of being; we honor our parents for the same reason we honor God: out of gratitude and obedience to the Creator.

However, this interpretation of Peri Tzaddik does not sit well with the plain meaning of Rabban Gamliel’s words, which appear to express genuine admiration for Esav’s behavior.

In search of a better answer, I reflected on the original directive. In the context of our Gemara, the kind of praise that seems to be forbidden focuses on aesthetic and material aspects—beautiful architecture, or, as discussed later on the daf, a beautiful gentile woman. I wonder if the prohibition applies only when extolling a physical attribute, rather than a moral or spiritual virtue. If that is so, then it is understandable why Rabban Gamliel could praise Esav’s dedication to the mitzvah of honoring parents. Since this is not a physical feature, but rather a moral virtue, perhaps such praise is permitted.

However, despite the possibility of interpreting our Gemara that way, the Rambam clearly does not codify it as such. He states (Laws of Idolatry 10:4):

“This prohibition also forbids speaking about [idolaters] in a praiseworthy manner. It is even forbidden to say, ‘Look how beautiful that idolater’s body is.’ How much more so is it forbidden to praise their deeds or to hold their words dear, as [the verse states]: ‘Do not show them chen.’ This phrase can also be interpreted as, ‘Do not look at them gracefully,’ for doing so will cause you to draw close to them and learn from their wicked........

© The Times of Israel (Blogs)