A few summers ago, just before the Tisha B’Av fast day, a woman came to our legal aid center. Her husband was abusive, and he was refusing to grant her a get – a Jewish writ of divorce.

She said something I hear far too often, but which still takes my breath away every time: “I know he is violent, but it is so hard for me to give up on the fantasy of what I hoped our marriage could be.” 

It is indeed painful to give up on a dream. No one enters a marriage expecting it to end this way. But when that dream becomes a source of harm rather than hope, it becomes necessary, however painful, to choose a different path. This woman ultimately found the strength to do just that, and with our support, fought for and received her get.

Many women experience this same struggle – the difficulty of letting go of the dream and stepping into freedom – when the get is finally granted, or even when it is finally within reach. Liberation is often accompanied by grief: the shattering of a dream, and a sense of loss for what might have been. 

At that moment, it is important to remember: even the ashes of this painful loss can become........

© The Times of Israel (Blogs)