Since I published a reflection about why I chose not to attend the premiere of The Darkest Light, the film about my father, I have received countless phone calls, emails, and comments. People have written with kindness, anger, vulnerability, grief, and difficult questions. I cannot answer every message, but I am receiving them all.

Many have asked whether they should see the film, continue listening to my father’s music, or separate the art from the artist. I cannot answer those questions for anyone else. Each person enters this conversation carrying a different history and capacity. Each must choose their own path.

Another kind of message has reached me again and again. People have shared stories about family members they have loved who have also caused deep harm. They have written about parents, grandparents, teachers, siblings, and spiritual leaders whose goodness was real and whose wrongs were also real. Their circumstances are different from mine, sometimes profoundly so. Yet I recognize the anguish of trying to hold what feels impossible.

Reading these stories, I have realized that I am less alone than I thought.

I believe that being human means living with complexity and paradox. Compassion can coexist with anger, and courage alongside fear. These seemingly opposing qualities are not always separate from one another. They often coexist in the same person and sometimes even within ourselves.

It would be simpler to decide that if we have been hurt, the love must not have been real.........

© The Times of Israel (Blogs)