A general rule of reality is: The body wants what feels good. The ego wants what looks good. The soul wants what is good.

Most of the time, the soul loses.

You already know this. You know what you should eat, how you should spend your time, how you should treat the people closest to you. You are not confused. And most of the time, you do something else.

That is not a willpower problem. Something else is going on. There are four pulls that work against you every time you try to do what your soul knows is right.

The first is self-centeredness. Not selfishness. Something quieter. You are the center of your own story all day long. Everything that happens is about you, your schedule, your stress, your needs. Eating well, listening fully, giving your time to what matters: they all ask you to step out of that story. The pull is to stay in it.

The second is distraction. You meant to do the right thing. You planned to. But between the decision and the moment, your mind moved somewhere else. The default won before you noticed.

The third is lethargy. The right choice does not generate enthusiasm. A salad does not excite you. A hard conversation does not appeal to you. So you give it exactly the energy it seems to deserve, which is almost none. That’s not a bad day. That’s most days.

The fourth is pleasure-seeking. The easier option is right there. It tastes better, feels better, costs less effort. And right now, its pull is much stronger than the pull of what you know is good for you.

These are not four bad habits. They are the reason most people live below who they actually are. You already know what that person looks like. The four pulls are why you don’t live there. But each one has a counter. That’s coming next.

© The Times of Israel (Blogs)