I am Jewish, and it’s not just an identity; it is a belief that I hold strongly and one I wish to follow. This belief puts me in a spot that asks of me to be completely honest with myself about life. I cannot lie and say that I am doing okay and completely righteous, nor can I knock myself down and say that all of my time was put to waste. It is getting to know myself with honesty that is required of me to live this life of belief.

Because ego is what will make me say that I am not enough, and ego will make me say that I am better than enough. I wouldn’t give charity because ego says that I need it to advance myself, and I wouldn’t give charity because ego says that I worked hard for it. Shame will be my worst enemy from two fronts. Shame will make me cower behind walls and not allow my potential to shine, and shame will make me feel undeserving of anything good, which will make me steal pleasures in hiding.

It is because I know that there is a God above Who has given me, all around, and all before me, life, that I cannot allow myself to waste my life in doubt, ego, and shame. And since His presence is constantly before my eyes, I cannot pretend that He isn’t there when my broken heart tries to get the best of me. In the smallest of terms, He is at least like a camera in the corner of my room that sees all.

So it is with understanding that I say that as a human, I may be weak, forgetful, and slow, but one thing I am for sure not is stupid. It is clear to me that I am not repeating things that are destructive, dirty, and stupid. No matter the desire of the heart, I remember how it ended the........

© The Times of Israel (Blogs)