March 24, 2026. I am in Israel. A tourist, lost in the crowd. Stranded in the war. Amid the incoming rockets and blaring alarms, I am repeatedly asking myself a simple, existential question: WHY AM I HERE NOW?

Rather, all my family and friends are, and very vocally so. “Are you so reckless, crazy, suicidal, nuts? You are 77 years old, have a family in NY, you’re half blind, can’t walk a block without catching your breath! You can’t help us! Get the heck out of here, you don’t have to be here, it’s not your fight! Grab a bus, taxi or camel to Taba, Sharm or Amman and spend the damn money on a flight back to America!”  I can’t. Not NOW.

Why haven’t I left? Why haven’t I even tried to leave? WHY am I consciously (and perhaps foolishly) exposing myself to physical harm and rising odds of death? I don’t know. I am tired, in a funky mood, sleep-deprived due to the constant alarms. The only thing I know for certain is that I am not going back. NOT NOW.

I have struggled in vain to explain my position to my loved ones here – “I want to support you emotionally, help Israel, wife on vacation w her Christian family in South America, bad NY weather, nothing to do once back” – anything that might help explain. Their collective response: “Baloney! Quit stalling and get your behind on the first El Al plane you can catch!”. But I am not going back – no matter what. NOT NOW.

My inner dialogue continues. And, why ME?

“Why ME, indeed? I’m unremarkable. I am not nationalistic or religious at all. I don’t believe in G-d, any god. I never........

© The Times of Israel (Blogs)