So many column inches have been devoted to Anthony Albanese’s failure so far to have a face-to-face meeting with Donald Trump that it is easy to overlook an upside. Not yet have we had to witness the Australian prime minister genuflecting towards the US president, the deferential default of so many international and corporate leaders who enter Trump’s gilded court.

President Donald Trump holds the FIFA World Cup Winners Trophy during an announcement at the White House Oval Office on Friday.Credit: AP

Many come bearing gifts. Tim Cook, the Apple CEO, this month presented Trump with a glass, disc-like ornament emblazoned with the president’s name that was mounted on a 24-carat gold base. Many come proffering complements. Along with the present of a golden cross, Archbishop Elpidophoros of the Greek Orthodox Church compared the president to “the great Roman emperor Constantine the Great”. Recommending Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize, the golden bauble he most treasures, has become standard fare – the diplomatic equivalent of turning up at a dinner party with a middling bottle of red.

Few leaders arrive at the White House empty-handed. UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer dramatically pulled from his pocket a letter from King Charles inviting the president to make an unprecedented second state visit. Thus, a monarch became party to an act of near-feudal reverence – although for decades, the UK’s much-vaunted special relationship with the United States has become ever more servile, regardless of who resides in the White House.

Illustration by Joe BenkeCredit: Joe Benke

If suck-uppery were an international competition, the Order of the Brown Nose – to borrow the British satirical magazine Private Eye’s mock honour........

© The Sydney Morning Herald