I loved being a cop, but it nearly killed me: Now I’ve found my path to happiness

April 11, 2026 — 4:30pm

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I loved being a cop, but the job nearly killed me. Allow me to explain.

Five years ago, I was in a really bad place. Living on the edge of panic, I was exhausted by nightmares and flashbacks. Feeling anxious and sick by day; an insomniac by night. I lost confidence, was easily startled by crowds and loud noises, and was often angry with no warning.

But I wasn’t always like this. To understand the present, you need to look at the past. For a long time, I lived and breathed blue.

There was a time, maybe 10 years ago, when I could barely have imagined doing anything else with my life. You know the feeling. You’re in that sweet spot in your career: still keen, motivated, fuelled by challenge, and yet with the skill and experience to be comfortable in the role. The growth zone.

I was an experienced police officer by then; a sergeant working in a highly specialised area. If I had introduced myself, I would have told you I was a tactical flight officer at PolAir. The state’s cops in the sky. It’s quite a mouthful, but it became central to my life and my inner........

© The Sydney Morning Herald