The jet skis of suburbia are more popular than ever. I can’t believe leaf blowers are allowed to exist

April 27, 2026 — 5:00am

You have reached your maximum number of saved items.

Remove items from your saved list to add more.

Save this article for later

Add articles to your saved list and come back to them anytime.

A big shoutout to the City of Port Phillip or – in the spirit of this story – a quiet little clap. The Melbourne council – perhaps inspired by Transport for NSW’s recent crackdown – has pushed to ban dangerous, noisy jet skis within 200 metres of its many popular beaches, in a move that is piquing the interest of other coastal authorities.

Now that these aquatic pests are under the pump, I reckon it’s time to turn our attention inland to the greatest threat to world peace. Or suburban harmony at the very least.

The infamous leaf blower.

I cannot believe the leaf blower is allowed to exist. There are so many things wrong with this dunderhead invention, I barely know where to start. I’ll take it slowly. Breathe deeply.

I’m relaxing on the couch in the afternoon, musing over the lines of Desiderata: “Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in... BRUP. BRUP. WHEEEEEE! Our neighbour has started up his leaf blower. Again. It’s the third day running and his driveway is already perfectly clean. Is he using a gas leaf blower? Electric? The quieter but weaker........

© The Sydney Morning Herald