Miriam Margolyes is on the road, bringing joy to every corner of the kingdom, and aren’t we the lucky ones? It’s a kingdom she no longer has much time for, if she ever did, however hard the coiners of trite phrases try to dress her in the garb of a ‘national treasure’. When the tour is over she’s off quick-smart to a new life in Tuscany, where British folk who dislike their native land have always found a bed.

There’s a book out as well, so there is no excuse for not paying attention. As dozens of chat shows have tried to persuade us, she is a bona fide ‘character’, fitting into the English pageant somewhere between Lady Godiva and a bearded lady. Have your tummy tickled as she farts merrily along the rolling English road.

She loves farting, does Margolyes, almost as much as talking about it. Oral sex is also up her strasse. It’s reassuring to know those three years at Cambridge weren’t entirely wasted. It was at Cambridge, representing Newnham College on University Challenge six decades ago, that she first backed into the spotlight, treating television viewers to the f-word. What fun to be........

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