It’s safe to say that we rarely set out to mislead our children.

In fact, most of us work tirelessly to help them thrive, to give them every opportunity, and to see them happy. But parenting today is no easy task. The pressures are immense — college admissions are cutthroat, social media magnifies comparison, and cultural messages push us all toward achievement as the ultimate goal.

Thus, it is understandable that many parents lean heavily on academics, athletics, and financial success as signs of progress. We want our children to stand out, to feel secure, and to have choices. Yet, despite our best intentions, this unspoken strategy ingrained in our culture will often inadvertently convey a message that a person’s value is measured by accomplishments, status, looks, and appearances — rather than by who they truly are.

When children absorb the idea that achievement equals worth, they learn a life process to chase the next benchmark to demonstrated their worth or value—a higher GPA, a bigger trophy, more likes on social media, and then it’s a new car, a better job, a larger home, and so on.

In the short term, this appears promising, as the drive can motivate and encourage children or teens to be diligent and hardworking. But over time, it sets them up for a cycle of striving without fulfillment. Happiness gets postponed until the “next thing” is reached or attained.

Research on money shows the same trap. Beyond a certain relatively modest point, more money does not create greater happiness. It reduces stress and offers freedom, but once basic security is met, the endless pursuit of more becomes like an addiction — constantly narrowing life’s joy to a moving target. Why? Because again,........

© The Saratogian