Recently, I presented at the South Australian Business Index, an event hosted, coincidentally, by the publisher of this very publication. 

During a conversation with Premier Peter Malinauskas, someone described South Australia as a small state. That comment didn’t sit well with my demographic mind.

South Australia is home to almost two million people – that’s the size of an entire historical empire. But which one?

What about the other Australian states and territories? 

Whenever a silly thought like this overcomes me, I write a column about it and call it work. So here is a thoroughly unscientific tour around the Australian “empires”. 

Australia. You mean the Ottoman Empire? 

Anthony Albanese as Sultan Mustafa II. Photo: Simon Kuestenmacher/AI

Let’s start at the top. Australia is home to 28 million people, matching one historical estimate of the Ottoman Empire’s population around 1700.

Our present-day ruler is Prime Minister Anthony Albanese, 63, while his imperial counterpart was Sultan Mustafa II. The Sultan certainly wins the fashion contest.

In around 1700, the Ottoman Empire remained one of the world’s great powers, stretching across three continents and governing a vast, culturally diverse population.

“Sultan Albo” may rule over only one continent, but he also rules over a diverse population.

However, things weren’t going particularly well for the Ottomans in 1700.

Following a famous failed siege of Vienna in 1683, the Ottomans had lost significant European territories and faced growing military and financial pressures.

Mustafa worried about hostile armies, rebellious provinces, and the declining fortunes of his empire.

Albanese worries about housing shortages, inflation, an ageing population, and getting eight state and territory governments to agree on anything.

Both leaders must govern vast distances, competing regional interests and a diverse population.

The Sultan could issue orders from his palace in Constantinople. Ruling from a less impressive abode in Canberra, Albanese must negotiate with the states, establish working groups, and commission Productivity Commission reports. 

Guzman y Gomez aren’t the only Mexican Empire 

NSW has 8.7 million residents, remarkably close to the estimated 8.3 million people of the Second Mexican Empire in 1865.

This makes Premier Chris Minns, 47, the unlikely modern equivalent of Emperor Maximilian I, an Austrian archduke who was in his early 30s in 1864.

Chris Minns as Emperer Maximilian I. Photo: Simon Kuestenmacher/AI

Maximilian acquired his throne with French military backing, a rather unconventional pathway to government compared with winning an election in NSW.

Unfortunately for Maximilian, plenty of Mexicans preferred a republic, and his empire collapsed in 1867.

Minns faces fewer existential challenges, although anyone who has experienced Sydney’s rental market might disagree.

Both leaders governed territories dominated by a powerful capital city, with regional populations demanding their fair share of investment and attention.

Maximilian worried about hostile armies, political rebellions and keeping his empire together. Minns worries about housing shortages, overloaded hospitals, transport congestion and keeping Sydney moving.

Maximilian depended on French troops to secure his position; Minns depends on finding enough construction workers to build homes and infrastructure.

Both faced serious logistical challenges, but Minns should be grateful his political survival doesn’t depend on Napoleon III. 

The Ptolemaic Empire of Australia 

Victoria has 7.15 million........

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