What is something we all do almost every day, yet each time it leaves us slightly puzzled? Negotiation.

Whether it is a child bargaining with a parent or a diplomat trying to avert conflict, the underlying psychology is remarkably similar. Having spent years studying and teaching negotiation, I am repeatedly struck by how little human behaviour changes across contexts. The stakes differ, but the emotions, assumptions, and perceptions that shape decisions remain much the same.

This universal psychology has been on display throughout the recent US–Iran negotiations. Beyond the headlines, the talks offer a reminder that negotiation is rarely just between two sides. More often, there is a third presence at the table: a spectre made up of things said and things left unsaid.

We are not always negotiating with the person across from us. We are often negotiating with our assumptions about them. The spectre consists of old grievances, imagined intentions, perceived insults, and fears about what comes next. Some of it is spoken openly. Much of it is not. Yet once these perceptions take hold, they begin to shape behaviour as powerfully as facts.

The recent talks illustrate this clearly.........

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