The helpful woman on the phone was as perplexed as I was.

“I’m way past the stage in life when I might need maternity cover, child development services or fertility treatment, so why am I paying for them?” I had inquired.

“I know,” she sighed, wearily. “You should hear some of the calls I get from men about this.”

“If I cut out those items from my cover, how much would the policy cost?”

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“You can’t cut them out,” she explained. “It’s all or nothing.”

“In that case, should I switch to a different plan?”

“No, this is the best one for you,” she assured me.

I hung up, my head stewed with visions of grizzled gents clutching their Plan XX policies in the queue for breastfeeding classes in Holles Street.

Yes, private health insurance is elitist but, as one ages, it can be harder to forgo than caffeine. This is especially true when the longest waiting time in the wait-riddled health service is for Sláintecare’s promised single-tier access. Meanwhile, people get sick.

I resorted to my insurance after the umpteenth six-monthly letter from the hospital asking if I still wanted to continue waiting on the public patients’ list to have my parathyroid glands removed. The guilt proved easier to live with........

© The Irish Times