Many moons ago, while managing a London office, a friend stayed with me to pursue a media opportunity.

We seldom met in the flat because he consumed late-night television alongside a diet of boiled chicken breast, Diet Coke and Haribos – all three kept in the fridge.

I never fully understood the Haribo craze, yet I do find their ads of adults acting like 10-year-olds very amusing. It feels remarkably Stormont-like.

Heartthrobs, gummy rings, miniature bears, fried eggs and twin snakes used to appear in my friend’s Starmix. I struggled to see any appeal for politicians.

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That changed when the DUP leader on BBC’s The View disclosed that he and estranged MP Carla Lockhart had shared a packet on a flight from Westminster. I was uncertain what this unexpected revelation meant, but like the advert, it made me laugh.

Perhaps they were meant to act like the old-fashioned gob-stoppers from the school tuck shop. And let’s face it: giving Lockhart something to chew on other than ramping up tensions in an already highly inflamed and divided constituency nearly amounts to a strategy.

I cannot imagine the politicians I once served being calmed by the offer of a rubbery egg full of starch and additives. Their armoury before battles took the form of Silk Cut cigarettes, Cutter’s Choice tobacco, red wine and more than the occasional Jameson.

Sadly, the lions are gone and we are left with performative politics and a packet of sweets.

But seriously, did Big Gav........

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