WHEN I’m doing stand-up, I often talk about the bizarre way people like myself hear the words “bomb scare” and don’t think ‘terror threat’, but ‘Right, that’s the morning ruined’.

People from outside “this here province” tend to blanch at the phrase, which is probably the correct response.

Fear, I’m told, is the normal reaction to being warned there may be a bomb nearby, although personally I tend to wonder whether the diversion will affect the bus route.

It only struck me that my attitude was unusual about 10 years ago during a quiet morning with my then partner, who was from London, and therefore still had a fully functioning sense of alarm.

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We were interrupted by a loud knock at the door, the kind of knock that makes you sit up and say, “Who’s that banging the door like the bloody peelers?”

I opened it, of course, to find none other than the bloody peelers.

Most people here will agree they have a very specific knock: firm, official, and with just enough judgement in it to make........

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