Word about town is that gossips are more trusted to help organise social events but less likely to be consulted for their ethics. By “word”, I mean “a workplace study from the University of Leeds business school”, and “about town” means “reported in the Times”.

Gossips unethical? For shame! The insights of this particular study I shall personally table for moral judgment at the next convergence of my neighbourhood girl gang. Gossip, friends, is both a moral mission and our pleasure on the fortnightly-or-so mornings we – 30s to 50s, a rainbow of sexualities and various household compositions – convene at the local cafe, eat toast and information-share.

We mostly drink coffee, but, baby, we spill tea. One of the many benefits of living in a small country town is that the human characters of the social narrative are visible on a near-daily basis. Physical encounters at the chemist, the supermarket, the early-morning pilates class form nodes of an information network more powerful than any digital communication that will ever be invented.

Shakespeare personifies Rumour as a character in Henry IV Part II, “painted full of tongues”, bitterly insisting that “rumour is a pipe, blown by surmises, jealousies, conjectures”. This........

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