An intergenerational war is brewing. Yes, another one.

It seems a plague of “Sephora Tweens” have been raiding available stocks of Drunk Elephant skin treatments at the makeup shop before mature consumers can get them. Deprived, older women have declared intergenerational war.

A TikTok video battle is now in place, with Generation Alpha firing salvoes that are met punch-for-punch by every online generation that isn’t dead. A child shakes a vial of Protini Polypeptide Cream above their head, bellowing “from my cold, dead hands!” An elder responds: “You can come for me, but you’ll never get my Glow Recipe Watermelon Glow Niacinamide Dew Drops™!”

OK, I made those last bits up, but the online fight is real and – I cannot stress this enough – I really hate this timeline.

The immediate question raised by the Sephora Tween War is, of course, “were pocket television studios a good idea?” which one single minute of TikTok convinces me to answer “no” and very loudly.

Beyond this are thornier questions about adults, and influence, and the spaces that adult greed and paranoia end up shovelling children into.

The sudden generational rivalry for product acquisition is a symptom of a staggering recent expansion of........

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