The first thing my friend Paul says after he picks up after four dial tones is “is everything OK?”

Everything is OK. I was just calling for a chat.

Many of us don’t make social calls any more, even those who grew up so obsessed with the home phone that we spent hours with a warm ear nestled into the receiver.

But after years of hearing the same startled response whenever I rang someone, I got the message – texts were preferred. Texts , then DMs, Instagram reels sent back and forth, WhatsApp groups and voice notes became the tools of choice in my friendships.

The more communication channels available to us, the more particular we can be with how we prefer to be contacted. It’s hard to remember it all, that Friend A prefers texts to voice notes, while Friend B loves voice notes but won’t answer a phone call. Friend C communicates entirely in reels. Friend D enjoys a phone chat but will rarely respond to texts. Friend E and I communicate mainly through email like we’re pen pals, even though he only lives 30 minutes away.

Personally, if you want to incur my wrath, add me to........

© The Guardian