A couple of weeks ago, I came across an Amy Poehler joke in which she sums up the different generational experiences of money: “Boomers are all about money. Gen X is like: ‘Is it all about money?’ Millennials ask: ‘Where is the money?’ And gen Z is like: ‘What is money?’”

It made me laugh – but it also hit a nerve. It felt painfully accurate and oddly comforting. Maybe it’s not just me. I’m a millennial, and financial insecurity has been a theme in my life for a while. But recently, it’s grown louder, and I literally can’t stop asking: “WHERE IS THE GODDAMN MONEY?”

I used to ask nicely. After all, I was raised to be a grateful, polite millennial – the kind who believed that magic always happens outside your comfort zone and therefore did unpaid internships in her 20s and sent thank-you emails after being underpaid. But no more. Hence the capital letters. I’m raging.

Maybe it’s because I’m approaching 40. Maybe it’s because I keep comparing myself with my parents, who by this age had two kids, a car, a house, a garden and three holidays a year.

I’m not just raging. After 15 years of working non-stop, I’m exhausted. And there are days when I ask myself: is it really meant to be this way – or am I just failing? Am I simply not grownup enough when it comes to money?

I know the answer isn’t that simple – or that harsh. Because usually, after days spent examining my shortcomings, I also think: no, this can’t just be personal failure. Maybe the odds were never in my favour.

Millennial women like myself were told to work hard and follow our passion. Because if you work hard and find something you’re good at, it’ll pay off. It doesn’t, though. The path I’ve chosen – creative, independent – offers very little in the way of long-term security and when I look around, a pattern emerges.

Over dinner recently with three friends – two men and one woman, all about my age – we started talking about money worries. The woman, a talented sculptor, said she had been feeling deeply anxious. She........

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