Reader, I was wrong. So terribly wrong. It pains me to admit this but, back in the distant past (last year), I wrote some very nasty things about Donald Trump and his family. Now that I am older and wiser I realise how misguided this was. So let me set the record straight: the incoming president is an exceptionally handsome man with an incredibly high IQ. We are all blessed that this very stable genius has taken time out of his busy golfing schedule to lead the free world to prosperity.

What do you reckon … was I sycophantic enough or do I need to lay the flattery on even thicker? I’m asking because, as you’ve no doubt noticed, genuflecting to the uber-transactional Trump is ramping up now that inauguration day is approaching. Business leaders are breaking records with the amount of money they’re dumping into Trump’s inaugural fund. “EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE MY FRIEND!!!” Trump wrote in a post on Truth Social in December.

Mark Zuckerberg certainly does. Not only has he praised the incoming president as “badass”, he’s rejigged Meta’s leadership to be more Trump-friendly. Trump ally Dana White has been appointed to Meta’s board. Meanwhile Nick Clegg, the former British deputy prime minister, is leaving his role (with

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