I’m not a curtain-twitcher, OK? I’m just a little bit nosy and happen to procrastinate by staring out of the window. Inspiration rarely strikes during these procrastination sessions – but I have absorbed an awful lot of information about my neighbours. “Guess what,” I’ll say to my wife. “I think the flight attendant who always puts his trash out when it’s not trash day broke up with his boyfriend because I haven’t seen him around lately.” My wife, meanwhile, never has any idea what I’m talking about and usually tells me to mind my own business.

I’m starting to think she has a point. In fact, we should all work a little harder at minding our own business. Because I’m not the only nosy parker out there, am I? Judging by the global obsession with the Coldplay couple, we’re all far too invested in other people’s lives.

If you have no idea what on earth that last sentence was about, congratulations. But I’ll just go ahead and destroy your blissful ignorance by explaining that, last week, a couple reacted in a very guilty manner after they got caught on the kiss cam at a Coldplay concert. Singer Chris Martin made a quip about them having an affair and, after footage of the event went viral, internet sleuths quickly discovered that they were colleagues at an AI........

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