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After Massive Loss To USA, Entire Canadian National Hockey Team To Be Euthanized For Being ‘Sad’

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Following reports of being “sad” after their massive Olympic loss to the United States of America, the entire Canadian national hockey team is set to be euthanized, according to a joint statement from the country’s Ministry of Suicide and Ministry of Hockey.

“Hey, look, I’m sorry, but, a loss like this is tough to handle, guy,” Hockey Minister François-Philippe LeBlanc said. “It’s our national sport and, boy, when a Canadian loses, a Canadian gets sad, and when a Canadian gets sad, well, it’s just too much to handle sometimes.”

The euthanasia will be administered through the country’s Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) program, which has become the country’s fifth leading cause of death as of 2024,........

© The Federalist