Their house is so large they need a GPS to find the front door. Their heating bills contain more horror than the works of Stephen King. They have rooms they haven't entered except to dust since John Howard was Prime Minister.

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Our friends own a mansion of memories, a two-storey shrine to decades of accumulation. They recently confided they wanted to downsize. But gripped by that peculiar anxiety of the modern age - too much space, too much stuff and no clear path out - they have no idea where to start.

How to let go? The idea terrifies them. He can't part with his garage of tools, although the only thing he's built in the past decade is an argument for keeping them. She clings to closets of clothes, although the only thing they now match are her memories.

They're hardly alone. A recent national survey found that 1.8 million Australian households want to downsize in the next few years but only one in five will actually do it.

The rest will remain stranded in houses too big for their needs; museums dedicated to our cult of acquisition and a culture that equates excess with success. In fact, 85 per cent of those aged over 55 possess at least two unused bedrooms. You know, in case the kids come back. Or imaginary guests drop by.

All this at a time when the nation is in the midst of an unprecedented housing crisis.

Our perplexed friends wanted advice. My wife and I have moved twice in the past five years and we've smugly boasted about our willingness to part with things we no longer need. Two cars became one. Packed wardrobes were thinned. Bookshelves were replaced by Kindles. Cartons of clutter - orphaned cables and cords, backup crockery and endless kitchen gadgets - were donated to second-hand stores.

We bragged how reducing life's accessories had allowed us to rediscover the things that really matter. Cue that round of applause.

But honestly? Our bid to extract more out of life with less has hardly been a raging success. Last time we shifted house we discovered unopened boxes from a previous move. Think about that. We'd paid to transport things we never missed enough to unpack in the first place.

We're still slaves to that seductive lie whispered to us for decades - that happiness can only be measured by the accumulated weight of........

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