“Inconvenience is the cost of community” has become somewhat of a social media mantra for people looking to rediscover what belonging and community actually require.

For years, many have embraced the idea that people can have connections without co-ordination, community without commitment and relationships without the friction of difference. But belonging doesn’t work that way because human interdependence has never been without friction.

It asks us to show up when we’d rather stay home, stay in conversations we’d rather leave and to rely on people whose presence and beliefs grow our capacity to care beyond ourselves.

This inconvenience is part of the social infrastructure that holds communities together. My recent research suggests that when five core “productive frictions” are eliminated from that infrastructure, we strip away the very forces that keep communities strong, productive and together.

Three converging epidemics now demand our attention, each pointing to the collapse of community infrastructure.

The first is loneliness. A World Health Organization report released in June found one in six people are affected by loneliness, with recent data from Canada and the United States showing increases since 2024.

Loneliness is linked to roughly 100 deaths every hour — about 871,000 a year — rivalling smoking in its mortality risk.

Read more: Loneliness could kill you

Contributing to this issue is the widespread uptick in familial estrangement. Up to 130 million North Americans are estranged from a close relative, with 35 per cent involving immediate family members. Families often

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