David, meet Goliath.

Harry Kane, meet Conor Tracey, a dude who works as a storeman at Auckland’s largest veterinary pharmaceutical warehouse.

Manuel Neuer, meet Angus Kilkolly, a job site specialist manager at Milwaukee Tool, according to his LinkedIn profile.

Bayern Munich, meet Auckland City FC – no, not the Bill Foley-backed professional team that won the A-League premiership in its first season, but the amateur side founded in 2004, whose squad also includes barbers, sales representatives and real estate agents, most of whom have had to take annual leave to take part in what will be the wildest experience of their lives over the coming week.

FIFA’s new Club World Cup is here. On Monday morning (2am AEDT), the German champions will take on New Zealand’s third-best football team (in a good year) in Cincinnati, Ohio.

Weird, isn’t it?

Kia Ora: Auckland City FC captain Mario Ilich.Credit: Getty Images

If all the football news you consume comes from Europe, you might already be holding your nose. And, in truth, there’s a fair bit wrong with this new-ish tournament, a revamped and expanded version of the old, unloved Club World Cup, which used to be played annually between seven teams. This one features 32 teams and will be played every four years; hosting rights for the 2029 edition haven’t been awarded yet, but Australia is very interested.

The winners will........

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