Mark Andrews takes a wry look at the week's news

The jailbirds are going to Iceland, then. Personally, I'd rather send them to Siberia - or Gaza City, maybe - but I suppose that would only end up lining the pockets of the human rights lawyers.

Still, I suppose the decision to open a branch of the discount supermarket chain at HMP Oakwood represents progress of sorts. Instead of waiting around for the drone to deliver his drugs, burglar Bob will now spend his days stuffing his face on multi-buy ready meals and frozen pizzas. Let's hope they're careful who they serve the cooking oil to.

It's not just Iceland, either. They've got a sweet shop, an electrical store, a cafe serving barista-made coffees, a greengrocer and a sports shop. Just throw in a sauna and a health spa and it'll be smashing the ratings on Tripadvisor.

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