Few things are as certain and true as this: all that lives will one day die. Trees, plants, animals, insects, this universe, me and you. Death is coming for all of us; though no one knows when or how. Our entire lives unfold under its shadow. We’re born beneath it; if we’re lucky, we age under it, build careers, homes and relationships, until one day the shadow becomes us. Yet, despite this universal, pervasive, indisputable truth, contemporary society couldn’t be working harder to dismiss it, ignore it, bury it.

This individual and collective denial of death and discomfort with grief became clear to me when my own mother died. In sharing my loss, I forced others to confront the looming presence of death. It made many uncomfortable. Some grew quiet, others awkward, sad, pensive – I witnessed the entire spectrum of human emotions, including avoidance.

Like Siddhartha Gautama’s (the Buddha) father, who shielded his son from suffering by cloistering him in a palace, we, too, have built our own modern palaces with our condos, cars and careers. We’ve distanced ourselves from the most defining moment of life after birth. I saw this erasure play out through my grieving process. I felt pressure to tuck my grief away to preserve others’ comfort. No one told me I had a deadline to feel better, but the unspoken expectation was clear. I returned to work after two weeks of bereavement leave to resume business as per usual, when everything in my world had permanently altered.

For those who haven’t experienced close loss, grief is everything and more than what’s been written, said and heard. Grief is all consuming, and yes it’s like learning a new language. Grief changes you to the bone, for better or for worse.

Given its magnitude, it’s shocking how........

© rabble