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First-Gen Growth Can Feel Like Belonging and Betrayal

46 1
05.02.2026

Growing up in an immigrant family, my parents often said, “We never had it this good.” “We make so many sacrifices for you.” I believed them; I could literally see their sacrifices with my own eyes: the calluses on my dad’s hands from working construction, the fatigue on my mom’s face at the end of the day.

I’m the first generation in my family to do many things because of their efforts. The first one to get a formal education, to travel to countries where we don’t have any relatives, and to have the luxury of free time. To my family, I am the bridge between what was survived and what is possible.

When I say first-gen, I’m not referring only to the children of immigrants. I’m talking about anyone raised in a family where the focus was survival, not expansion, whether because of poverty, systemic barriers, migration, and or limited access.

If you grew up as a first-gen, you may have heard similar comments. They were made to motivate you, but tucked into the words was an unspoken mandate: Go further than us. Show us it was all worth it.

That unspoken mandate has propelled you forward. You work hard, trusting that if you do what is expected of you, your family will always be proud and happy to see you succeed.

It starts to pay off, causing your internal world to shift. You start........

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