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People with disabilities may fear rejection, stereotype, and stigma.

Misperceptions create relational challenges for many people living with disability.

Early disclosure of disability may establish an authentic connection between partners.

Most prospective partners begin a new relationship seeking to put their best foot forward. This involves showcasing strengths and hiding weaknesses—both visible and invisible. When one or both prospective partners have a hidden disability, revelation is often made through delayed disclosure because people may fear rejection, stereotypes, and stigma. Regarding the impact of this difficult disclosure, as with other relationship revelations, timing matters. Research explains.

Disability Disclosure

Elie Mimoun et al. (2025) investigated how timing of disclosing disabilities impacts romantic relationships in an aptly named piece, “Disclosing Invisible Disabilities to Romantic Partners.”[i] They recognize societal misperceptions of individuals with disabilities as helpless, incompetent, and intellectually challenged, sometimes viewed as “asexual” because they do not meet the societal able-bodied model of beauty and desirability. These misperceptions lead to relational challenges for many people living with disability seeking to form romantic bonds.

Studying Stereotype and Stigma

Using a participant sample of 494 college students without disabilities, Mimoun et al. studied how disclosure of “invisible” disabilities impacted a romantic partner’s willingness to continue the relationship. They found that disclosure of more stigmatized disabilities had a greater negative impact on a partner, resulting in less willingness to continue the relationship.

Regarding what types of disabilities carry the most stigma, Mimoun et al. note that research reveals a hierarchy showing cognitive delay as least accepted, and asthma as most accepted (citing Deal, 2003). They observe that these rankings have endured over the years, even among people living with disabilities ranking disabled others.

Noting that the invisible physical disability of asthma carries a consistently low ranking in the hierarchy, resulting in weaker stigma and less negative associations, Mimoun et al. explain that societal attitudes toward asthma tend to be somewhat neutral, and its disclosure is unlikely to carry a significantly negative impact. Epilepsy, on the other hand, carries a medium ranking in the stigma hierarchy, is linked with stronger negative stereotypes, and is thus more likely to prompt more negative reactions when disclosed. Mimoun et al. note that the highest negative attitudes accompany diagnoses of mental health, such as schizophrenia.

When Disclosing Disability, the Sooner the Better

Regarding timing of disclosure, Mimoun et al. found that earlier disclosure resulted in less negative affect. They explain that study participants who were exposed to an invisible disability on the second date experienced less negative affect than participants exposed to the disability after dating for three months. Mimoun et al. note this is consistent with the “clicking model” of relationship development where higher levels of self-disclosure usually happen in the beginning stages of a relationship, when dating partners are rapidly sizing each other up for relational suitability.

Mimoun et al. also found that early self-disclosure was beneficial when information disclosed is stigmatizing or perceived as very negative. Delayed disclosure, on the other hand, could reinforce misconceptions and produce less favorable evaluations of the discloser. They surmise that negative affect stemming from a disability that is disclosed later in a relationship may be a result of the discrepancy between earlier formed expectations and new information.

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Mimoun et al. observe that early disclosure may also establish a more open and authentic connection between partners, facilitating the ability to navigate potential challenges together earlier in the relationship. They recognize that delayed disclosure may be driven by the fear of rejection, as well as the desire to create a stronger emotional relationship before disclosing the disability. They also acknowledge the option of gradual disclosure, where a hidden disability is revealed in stages, in order to reduce the risk of overwhelming one’s partner with too much information too early.

Honesty as the Best Policy

Mimoun et al. recognize that disability disclosure in romantic relationships can have positive outcomes, including increased empathy, trust, and partner support, in addition to deeper understanding and acceptance. Disclosure can also strengthen emotional bonds and promote partnership between romantic partners, as they face the challenges associated with living with the disability.

[i] Mimoun, Elie, Meni Koslowsky, Daniella Margalit, and Amichai Ben Ari. “Disclosing Invisible Disabilities to Romantic Partners: Understanding the Role of Timing.” Stigma and Health 10, no. 3 (2025): 556–66.

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