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Partners can get emotionally divorced without getting legally divorced.

Unhappily married parents have more options than just stay or go.

Staying for the kids can benefit everyone in the family.

Brian and Naomi were like many long-time married couples with kids you’d see at the neighborhood barbeques. From all appearances, they were happy enough with each other (they quarreled like everyone else, but they always sat next to each other); they did a good job parenting together, and they seemed to be a good team.

But, behind closed doors, they were like two ships passing in the night. After 17 years together (16 of those married), there was little, if any, glue holding them together romantically. Fortunately, they had avoided the path of accumulating giant resentments like so many of their friends had, but the physical love light had gone out years ago—after their third child (now 8) was born.

They felt like what had been building was a whole lot of unfulfillment, and this was teetering on turning into misery. They both felt stuck. And like they were living a lie.

The traditional options were pretty simple: stay married and feel trapped, or get divorced and break up the family. Not liking either choice, they kicked the can down the road—for years. They hoped someday they would know what to do. Maybe a spark would be reignited, or something would happen to........

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