We are in a cultural moment where concepts of trauma, identity, and neurodivergence have become combined under the broad notion of “difference.” This is especially clear in the recent trend of grouping autistic people, narcissists, and even psychopaths into one conversation to talk about empathy deficits.

But not all empathy deficits are the same, and not all are neurological. Furthermore, not all empathy deficits are unintentional.

Despite a growing wave of discourse suggesting that narcissism should be treated like a neurodivergence, this view is not supported by psychological research or clinical history. Narcissistic traits—whether we’re talking about subclinical narcissism, vulnerable or grandiose expressions, or full Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)—are best understood as maladaptive personality structures, not as neurodevelopmental profiles.

Psychodynamic theorists like Otto Kernberg (1975) and Heinz Kohut (1971) defined narcissism as a relational strategy rooted in early egoic injury. Narcissism is often an adaptive defense against inconsistent mirroring, emotional neglect, or inflated expectations. But contrary to popular belief, not all narcissists have a history of trauma. Many people with traumatic histories do not become narcissistic, and some narcissists report relatively “normal” childhoods. Narcissism is shaped by a complex interplay of temperament, environment, and relational modeling, but it is primarily expressed as a relational strategy to manage a fragile ego by controlling others, extracting validation, inflating one’s importance, and avoiding vulnerability.

Unlike neurotypes such as autism, ADHD, psychopathy, OCD, bipolar disorder, or

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