My husband is gesturing wildly but quietly for me to come to the front window.

“Hawk!” He says. “I think it caught something in its talons.”

We stare across the canyon to one of the red-tailed hawk’s favorite posts before deciding to get the binoculars and head outside.

“I saw a bird today,” he ribs me and passes the binoculars.

We don’t need to try the bird test; we’re both really into birds.

The viral “bird test” is positioned as a relationship test: If, after you state that you saw a bird, your partner asks questions or shows interest, then your relationship is in good shape, according to the challenge. However, if you’re met with disinterest, a curt reply, or are ignored, the theory is that your partner may not be invested in or care about you or your interests.

There’s some validity to the idea that acts of connection (sharing what you love or showing affection, for example) are ideally met with reciprocity. We want our partners to attend to us and volley the connection attempts. However, if your partner “failed the bird test,” do not despair. There are many reasons a loved one may not reply in the manner or timing you expect, and many of........

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