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Hiding anxiety behind competence or compliance can create exhaustion, loneliness, and a split in the self.

Masking often protects against the fear of exposure, but it limits spontaneity, aliveness, and connection.

Anxiety therapy helps work through what masking protects, so life can feel less effortful and more alive.

Many people who seek therapy do not initially describe themselves as anxious. They may feel emotionally depleted, irritable, or restless; they may be overthinking; or they may have an ongoing sense that they need to constantly “manage” themselves in the presence of others. These experiences often reflect a deep sense of anxiety, a fear of being judged, rejected, hurt, exposed, or psychologically annihilated.

Often, what is most painful is not anxiety alone but the tremendous effort people put into hiding it. Many people who start anxiety therapy have become skilled at sounding composed, appearing capable, and moving through the day without revealing how much internal pressure is involved. They themselves can be oblivious to the weight they constantly carry, because the sources of anxiety can be too overwhelming to enter their awareness. Anxiety can be understood as an internal response to an anticipated state of helplessness, loss, or psychic disorganization.

Masking anxiety is an attempt to prevent danger before danger is consciously known. Anxiety is not only experienced; we may organize our entire personality, consciously or not, to navigate, defend against, and disguise the turmoil we feel inside. We may become relentlessly agreeable, highly productive, overly prepared, or chronically self-effacing. We may resort to a quick smile or a reflexive apology, monitoring how they are being received from moment to moment. We work hard to manage how we........

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