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Boys learn about sex and virility, but rarely about their own fertility story.

Male fertility is often ignored until it's a problem.

Creating fertility awareness is about real freedom and choice.

For a girl, thinking about motherhood is seen as normal. But a boy who thinks about his fertility or future fatherhood early is often viewed very differently. We wonder why he's already thinking about being a father? It seems slightly strange to us.

We question it in a way we rarely question girls. We place girls’ thoughts about future children within the context of motherhood. But for boys, we have no real narrative for that.

The patriarchy also handed boys the script: Sow your wild oats, play the field, and enjoy life before you settle down. Ironically, some of our familiar messages about male freedom are built around a fertility metaphor, and yet we've hardly encouraged men to think about their fertility at all. The focus is on virility, sexuality, and independence, not fertility, reproduction, or future fatherhood.

In fact, many men don’t consider their fertility unless there is a problem, and then those conversations move behind closed doors, with either a doctor or a therapist. The language also shifts yet again to “shooting blanks.”

So we move from bravado to shame. What's left in between?

“This Wasn't a Conversation I Thought I’d Ever Have”

If a male fertility problem does arise, it is often deeply disorienting. A man can go from assuming everything is fine to suddenly facing a part of himself he has never had to think about.

There is a scant relationship with his reproductive health because there has never been a conversation about it. Instead, there is simply a crisis followed by the sudden realization:

"This was never a conversation I thought I'd ever have."

What We Told Girls and What We Told Boys

"The first time I learnt about fertility issues was just before I had my first period, so maybe age 11. My mum taught me........

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