Marriage offers a number of important protections. Research shows that married people can retain emotional and physical health compared with those who are divorced (Amato, 2000; Hughes & Waite, 2009; Scott et al., 2013). A challenge in contemporary Western culture is for people to actually stay married once they have made a lifelong commitment to each other. The divorce statistics in the United States show that about 43 percent of first marriages end in divorce (Bieber, 2024). The rates get higher for second (60 percent) and third (73 percent) marriages (Bieber, 2024).

Most pre-marital and marriage programs focus on communication with one another. For example, the Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program (Markman et al., 2010) teaches the couple how to communicate respectfully and resolve conflicts with one another while mutually committing to the relationship. In a review of 13 pre-marital programs, 12 of them emphasized communication training, with a particular focus on managing conflict in the transition to marriage (Carroll & Doherty, 2003). Pre-marital programs can vary widely. For example, Van Acker (2003) suggests that the couple focus on the issue of romance as a kind of glue that should keep the couple voluntarily and happily bound to one another. Moodi et al. (2013), in their pre-marital program, emphasize reproductive health, including family planning and a knowledge of genetic diseases.

While communicating accurately and respectfully is vital for a healthy marriage, also important is learning how to forgive each other, given that all people are imperfect and will let their spouse down on occasion. Learning to forgive is preparation for dealing with the injustices, small or large, that inevitably will visit marriages. Forgiving has been shown to reduce resentments that can deepen and exacerbate conflict (Enright & Fitzgibbons, 2015). This learning to forgive should not be forced on either person but instead should be a free-will choice to examine forgiveness as a possibility and to practice it when the person........

© Psychology Today