Let us suppose that you have a goal of becoming physically fit. Would a one-time workout at the gym suffice? Perhaps your goal is to become proficient at forgiving. Would a one-time event, reducing anger or wishing an adversary well, suffice?

The answer to both questions above is a definitive “no.” Yet, many people have come to think of forgiveness as a one-time decision: “I forgive you.” There. It is all wrapped up, and I am finished with my forgiveness. This decision to forgive, with its verbal announcement, is a distortion of what forgiveness is in its essence and what it takes to become forgivingly fit. In this post, think of me as your fitness guide. I will lay out the principles for your process to eventually achieve forgiveness fitness, a condition in which you:

Are you ready to open the door to the forgiveness gym?

The first step is to learn about forgiveness, what it truly is, without distorting its meaning. Forgiveness, from careful philosophical analysis, is a moral virtue of willingly being good to those who have not been good to you, without excusing the unjust behavior, or forgetting what happened (so you can watch your back if the injustice continues), or automatically reconciling, or abandoning the quest for justice (Song, Enright, and Kim, 2025). Your fitness task here is to contemplate this paragraph so that you do not water down what forgiveness actually is, so that you do not make it too easy or more comfortable for yourself.........

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