“There is no 'usual' anymore,” my neighbor divulged about her holiday gatherings. “Between parents aging, divorces, people moving, and especially the kids getting older, I never know what each holiday will bring.”

We can understand intellectually how family dynamics naturally change. Yet when it's our turn to adapt, we can find ourselves off balance, particularly when it’s our own children, now adults, shifting the norm. With their nostalgia and high expectations, the holidays can surface changes in a dramatic way.

Maybe a daughter is introducing someone new you're unsure about or a son asks to celebrate a week later to allow time out of town with in-laws. Perhaps your child comes home with different beliefs or priorities, or is not coming home at all. While family changes can certainly be welcome gifts, please know that if you are feeling disappointment, anxiety, or rejection, you are not alone.

For harmony in your evolving family, the key will be to shift your focus away from "what you want to control" and instead on "who you want to be." This inner locus of control will connect you to your inner power, which forms the basis........

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