When someone we care about is struggling, many of us jump into problem-solving mode. We offer advice, suggest strategies, or try to cheer them up.

Our intentions are good—we want to help. But in doing so, we may inadvertently take away the one thing our friend or colleague needs most: the space to feel seen, heard, and understood.

Empathy is often enough. And in many cases, it’s more powerful than offering solutions. It’s an act of deep courage to sit with another person’s pain, without rushing to resolve it.

Research by Dr. Brené Brown and others has shown that empathy fuels connection, while attempts to fix can inadvertently shut people down or make them feel inadequate (Brown, 2018). When we problem-solve too quickly, we risk disempowering the person we’re trying to help. We send the message—even unintentionally—that they can’t handle the situation on their own.

Empathy, on the other hand, honors the other person’s agency. It says: I trust you. I believe in your ability to figure this out. I just want you to know you’re not alone.

But many people aren’t quite sure when to use empathy, and even fewer know what to say when they try. Here are five broad categories of moments when empathy can be especially powerful, as well as a practical toolkit of 25 things you can say to express empathy without overstepping.

Empathy is relevant in nearly every human interaction, but especially in moments of vulnerability. Based on research into social-emotional development, emotional intelligence, and interpersonal neurobiology (Goleman, 2006), here are five common types of situations where empathy can be particularly........

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