Why Relationships Matter

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There is pain in all relationships. It might be a tiny amount of pain that manifests in small disagreements, it might be a large amount of pain that manifests in blow-out fights, and of course there is everything in between. Couples who seek therapy for help dealing with the conflict in their relationships, both in couples therapy and individual therapy, are constantly assessing the level of pain they are experiencing. This can be visualized as a Scale of Relationship Pain, measuring the pain of being in the relationship versus the pain of not.

Breakups are painful. Our first breakup as a young person might feel like the end of the world, even though the adults around us might point out that we’re young and we ain’t seen nothing yet. Often as we grow up, the relationships we find ourselves in get more involved and committed, until we find ourselves in the ultimate relationship commitment: marriage. And to further deepen our commitment to this relationship, we might also have children. In addition, we often intertwine our financial lives, pooling our resources, buying a house together, saving for retirement, and doing other things that cement the seriousness of our relationship. We become legally, emotionally, and financially intertwined in a way that would make it very difficult to disentangle.

However difficult it might be, some couples find themselves in a........

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