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PDA‑linked personality traits are changeable, not fixed for life.

Research shows that reactivity, agreeableness, and conscientiousness are traits that improve with age.

Family-based therapies, plus parent-driven structure, limits, and repeated practice lead to meaningful change.

This is part 2 of a two-part series. In part 1, I discussed how pathological demand avoidance (PDA) might be a measurable personality pattern marked by high reactivity, low agreeableness, and low conscientiousness.

Pathological demand avoidance describes children who go to extreme lengths to avoid everyday demands and expectations. They often have intense emotional reactions and engage in behavioral avoidance strategies when asked to complete a nonpreferred task (O’Nions et al., 2014).

Parents may hear "a personality pattern" and think their child’s personality might be permanent. Traits sound hard-wired. And if the problem is framed as “who my child is,” then how can treatment make a difference?

But research tells us that personality traits can look very different over time and can be changed.

Traits are real, but they are not fixed. As we age, many people become less emotionally reactive, more willing to get along, and better able to manage frustration over time (Roberts et al., 2006; Roberts et al., 2019; Vaidya et al., 2008).

Even more encouraging, there is growing evidence that targeted effort and repeated practice can help shift trait-related patterns in more adaptive directions (Hudson & Fraley, 2015, 2018). For children with PDA profiles, that means the story is not simply, “This is who they are and always will be.” A more accurate story is: “This is how they are right now, but that can change for the better over time.”

Research supports that change is possible

In a large meta-analysis (a study that combines the results of other studies), Roberts and colleagues found that people generally become more conscientious and emotionally stable as they move from adolescence into adulthood (Roberts et al., 2006). A longitudinal twin study found similar patterns: Negative emotionality declined while constraint, closely related to self-control, increased from late adolescence into early adulthood (Vaidya et al., 2008). A 50-year follow-up study also found meaningful change across the lifespan (Roberts et al., 2019).

PDA is heavy on emotional reactivity and light on self-regulation, but these are exactly the areas in which time and development often help.

However, it is important for parents to know that children who are highly reactive, disagreeable, and impulsive are not guaranteed to “grow out of it.” This is why effective treatment for these........

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