This post is part two of a series.

In part one of this series, I spoke about loneliness in the context of a friendship — when we're lonely inside a relationship and even inside a "friendship." I described two friends, Jane and Melly, and a choice Melly made (that so many of us make) in an effort to take care of her friend and protect her from painful feelings. In part one, I also promised a different kind of choice that we can make in our friendships, one that can alleviate loneliness and create deeper and radically more meaningful connections. Spoiler alert: The choice is simple and obvious (and yet we still don’t do it).

Here's what it looks like... If a friend tells you about a difficult situation in their life, something challenging or painful they're struggling with, the next time you see that friend, take the initiative and ask them about that situation. Show them that you remember by asking a follow-up question to what they shared before, no matter how much time has passed. This is the radical choice in a nutshell. Ask them how that particular situation is going, if anything has changed, how they're doing with it, or just mention that you've been thinking about them carrying this challenge. The point is to just tip your hat to the fact that you heard them when they shared before, and that it mattered enough to you, and they matter enough for you to remember it and carry it with you. It's a simple but profoundly powerful way to........

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